I haven’t been very active on the blog lately, and after reading The Misadventures of a Darwinian Fail’s Coffee Talk blogpost I thought that would be a good way to keep you updated on things over here.
If we were having coffee (or tea) I would ask you how you are? Is that coffee (or tea) tasty? And I would most likely tell you to tell me something fun because I need it..
I would also ask you how in the world it’s ALREADY September?! Where did the summer go? Did you have a good summer? What did you do? Ahh, tell me EVERYTHING!
I would tell you that I am VERY happy to see you and that my coffee (preferably homemade French Press, iced with hemp milk) tastes pretty amazing.
I would probably tell you that I am feeling pretty heavy at the moment. I would tell you about my struggle finding a job and how my confidence is disappearing more and more, day by day. I seem to be in a place and time where there is nothing for me out there and that I doubt myself more and more for every day that passes without any answers from the places I have applied to. I might even go as far as to say something like “Why did I decide to do ‘shitty jobs’ and save up to go traveling all the time instead of getting myself a proper degree?” only to get quiet, think about it for a moment, and say “No.. I actually don’t regret it at all, because the traveling helped made me into who I am today and without the traveling I would never have met C and.. Yeah, that would’ve sucked!”.
I would ask you for advice. What should I do? What would you do? Have you ever struggled to get a job, just any job? How could I possibly keep going when it feels like there’s nothing out there for me?! How’s work for you? Are you happy?
I would tell you how lonely I feel where we live. How some days I don’t talk to anyone (except myself, C and the cat). And I would ask you to move in next doors so that we could have coffee more often. (Pretty please?!)
I would tell you how right now I am working day and night (not literally, but my mind is occupied by this pretty much 24/7, I dream about it and wake up way-too-early every morning all anxious about it) to get the next step in my immigration progress ready to go and then we wait. I’d tell you that I am scared, and that I feel so small. That my love for my husband is greater than anything and that it would break my heart not to be with him, and that I really dislike having to prove our love in the shape of some forms, fees and copies of our bills, accounts etc. I would tell you that of course I’ll do it, because that’s just how it goes when you fall madly in love with someone from another country. You would probably (hopefully) tell me to relax, to let go and go with the flow, not to worry about it because obviously we’re the real deal. I would probably laugh, through tears, and say that you’re right, that it doesn’t help that I’m stressed and anxious.
I would ask you if you’d like to go for a walk or run with me, because coffee, running and walking are some of the best things I know and they’re usually thousands times better in great company.
I would tell you, once again, how much I appreciate your company and this coffee (or tea) we shared.
What would you tell me if we were having coffee today?