Yesterday I missed my cool temperature window in the morning hours due to.. Coffee. Lately I seem to get stuck in bed with my cup of coffee and cat cuddles in the morning. Yup, coffee makes me lazy. So when that window had passed I decided to head out for my run at 3.30pm. When my alarm went off (yes, I set a run o’clock alarm) I finally headed out for my run, feeling excited! ..until about 1mi in when I started feeling nothing but miserable. My body was fine, but my mind was telling me all but good things. I kept running while my thoughts were spinning, and they were just ugly and kind of mean..
“You’re not a runner!”
“Just quit now and never ever run again”
“So heavy, so slow, so out of breath..”
“Must. Stop. Now.”
And then came the tears. I sat down on a park bench and just let the tears roll down my cheeks, drop down on the ground, and I just felt so beat down. I assessed my body, realizing it felt fine still. Not sore, not tired, no pains/niggles.. “I should be able to run, what is happening here..?!” And then I cried a bit heavier, let it out, stood up and started running slowly again. I decided to give it at least .5mi more before turning back home so I kept on keeping on while the tears kept rolling. Yup, I have always said that I am an emotional runner, running on heart and all my emotions all over the place, but this was something else.. Just.. Misery. After that .5mi I turned around, felt like I couldn’t get home fast enough but yet it took forever.. The whole way back home I was thinking about the fact that it ALWAYS feel awesome to finish up a run, bad or good one doesn’t matter – the post-run feeling is usually pretty great, am I right?!
I got home, sat down on my yoga mat and thought that good post-run feeling would come. But it didn’t, I still felt miserable. Did some yoga, cried, thought about my running and wanted to puke while foam rolling. No runner’s high to be had, I gave up. Yesterday was just not my day.
In fact, lately I have been struggling a lot with my running due the heat and humidity over here. Although it’s nowhere near what some of you deal with in the summer months I just can NOT seem to get my body used to it. I am sure part of this is mental – I am homesick and ridiculously jealous of you all who gets to enjoy SEASONS (I know winter gets old, but after winter comes spring and life returns). A part of me is thinking “We need to move, I can’t do this” every single day. I might need to work harder on making Hawaii home, to be able to fully adjust to the weather here physically. As soon as the temperature is >70-75F I just break down. I drink a lot of water, eat well and try to make sure I get my electrolytes but yet.. My body/mind just freaks out when I start running.
The only solution as I see it: I need to get back to being awake and out running early in the morning! Lately I have been enjoying my morning coffee a bit too much. I’ve made coffee for my husband around 6-7am every morning and then crashed in bed with coffee, cat snuggles, twitter etc only to realize that “cool” morning temperature is gone and it’s hot. Again. So I’ve tried to run in the afternoon, thinking that that must be better. Well, it’s not.
After yesterday’s total disaster, run and emotional wise I woke up this morning feeling.. Not very awesome, but I decided to scratch that and got out for a run. Terrified of another horrible run I left my Garmin at home and went naked without pressure or plan. I was just going to run, and feel good about it. I am happy to say that it actually worked. I ran 2 quick miles and felt strong and happy while enjoying saying good morning to people I met and soaking up the beauty around me. The sound of the ocean, the colors of the trees, the people enjoying their morning walks with our without company. It was pretty warm, and I was sweating like a mad man, but body and mind felt awake, positive and strong. I got back home, did a 30 minute yoga session and then quickly got my morning coffee ready. Iced, strong coffee with almond milk. I pet myself on the back and said out loud (to the cat obviously) “You see, I still got it!”.
I know, just as well as any other runner, that not all runs can be good ones. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling terrible about some runs. Luckily, after a bad run there’s usually a good (or even awesome) and that is something I need to remember. That, and hydration, electrolytes and GET OUT THERE EARLY! This girl is going to be a happy early morning runner again!
Have you had any particularly bad runs lately?
How do you get through/refocus?
What is your ultimate run temperature/weather?